At heart, I’m a quitter.
I’m not one to go chasing windmills à la Don Quixote and certainly not one to don the mantle of one-upsmanship. Frankly, I’d rather sit on the sidelines and sip a latte…or a vodka tonic. Which brings me to the folly that will forever be known in my family as Mission Impossible.
It began, innocently enough, over the aforementioned vodka tonic. A mumbled whim from me to my husband of “Hey, hon. This whole Missions thing is gonna be big next year in school. What say I take the kids and try to see all 21 Missions in a week?” He rolled his eyes and then – seeing a wife-and-kids-free week on the horizon -- strolled me right over to Barnes & Noble before “last call” to get a guide to the California Missions.
The next morning, alongside toast and juice, I served up the concept to my soon-to-be-fourth-grader. As hungry for catchy “handles” for things as her mom, she couldn’t resist the kitschy Mission Impossible moniker, and – devouring this morsel of vacation planning madness as quick as a McDonald’s chicken nugget - promptly started town-crying the news to all her friends and teachers. Yearbook inscriptions from former teachers followed: “Good luck on Mission Impossible!” Calls poured in from other parents: “You’re doing what?!”
So, just like telling people you’re going on a diet or quitting smoking or what have you, I was locked in. Folks were watching to see if we’d actually go through with this thing. The Sharpie-pen-scrawled yearbook entries (so permanent!) seemed to mock me. Or maybe that was my husband. Either way, MapQuest became my new friend, as I became an amateur cartographer for our trek.
I began to have disturbing dreams of Tom Cruise showing up in a tight black unitard, suspended by ropes, trying to hack into my laptop to get the NOC list, which really was just my itinerary. But, to be honest, at that point the itinerary just as valuable as the NOC list because of the logistical feats of engineering it takes to figure out a way to potentially see all of the Missions and maybe eat and sleep and throw in some fun-for-kids side-trips without going totally insane and having your kids disavow you forever.
Were we – an intrepid and possibly insane band of travelers – successful in our Missions mission? Yes. Kind of. To be perfectly frank, we cheated. We saw Mission San Juan Capistrano a full week before we began our tour. Just to get warmed up. Then, at the end of our sojourn, I just didn’t have the heart – or the stamina – to put my kids through the torture of driving RIGHT PAST OUR HOUSE and down the road to see the two Missions in San Diego. We’ll get to those…well…later.
Would I recommend that you replicate this journey in its entirety? I beg of you, NO! But, would it be wise to perhaps visit a few of these lovely historic sites at a time, partaking of some other activities while in the region? By all means, YES! Most of the Missions are beautiful sites that offer a rare chance (in our relatively “new” country) to step back in time. Many of the Missions offer interesting museum displays with artifacts, gardens to stroll through, cemeteries to get semi-spooked in and chapels for prayer or peaceful respite. Our ratings guide to the Missions should help you decide which may be right for your visit.
And, hey, if you’re into chasing windmills, there are some great ones in Solvang – right down the street from Mission Santa Ines.
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